February 16, 2009

Chocolate Creme Pie

I'm having chocolate creme pie for lunch. And lots of it. It's just that kind of a day.

I haven't been keeping up with my blog lately because any free time I had to write was spent working on a book I'm writing. It's coming along quite well actually. Yesterday the kids had a friend over and since that kept them all occupied, I was able to work on my book. I spent about 8 hours adding, rearranging, changing, deleting. I made alot of changes that really made a huge difference. It was all off the top of my head. I forced myself to stop around 11pm because it was getting late. I made sure to save my work continually as I went but somehow...it all disappeared. MC tried everything he could to find it but with no luck. My hours of hard work and inspiration, which of course I have no back up for, have disappeared into cyberspace. I have a call in to my computer guru but I am not very hopeful.

Where do things go that have been lost on the computer? Are they really, truly lost, vanishing into thin air? Do they float around in cyberspace like so much space garbage? Do they run off and join the Missing Sock Brigade? My book has to be somewhere, right?

I felt sick to my stomach as I crawled into bed last night. It took awhile to get to sleep. I woke up feeling the same way but with the added bonus of a headache.

The nice thing about using the computer is it's so easy to make changes and it's a lot faster. But with writing everything out longhand, I have a hard copy right there. I realized this morning that I had deleted something that I worked out on paper. I was able to dig through the recycling and retrieve it. That one paragraph has been salvaged. If only it was that easy to get back the other 20 pages of revisions.

In times of stress, some people drink, some people smoke, some people turn to drugs or alcohol. I eat. That is my vice. I'm not proud of it. I know it's just as harmful as everything else I mentioned. At the moment, though, it's the only thing keeping me from pulling out my hair and screaming at the top of my lungs. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to finish eating my chocolate creme pie.

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