March 9, 2010

Coming Out of the Cave

I am about to make a forced emergence from my cave. It's so much nicer in here--cozy, warm, quiet. I don't have any deadlines or obligations, no one counting on me for anything. It's a lovely place to be. But unfortunately, by spending time here I am letting down my husband and my children. They seem to be under the impression that they need things like an education, home cooked dinners, clean clothes, and an income. I may find all of those highly overrated but they don't agree.

Leaving is painful, dreaded even, but it's something I must do. My family is counting on me and I can't keep disappointing them. As the mom, I am the measuring stick by which everything else is measured. I set the mood for my children and how well they behave. I control the home environment and what my husband gets to come home to. I directly affect how well he can get his work done in order to support the rest of us.

Being selfish is so much easier, so much more appealing, but that's not what this life is about, is it? I'm going to break out of my cocoon, put myself on the back burner and remember that those closest to me are more important than anything else.

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