April 2, 2013

Ignorance is Bliss

WHY?! Why in the name of all that is good and right would I do this to myself? Someone please explain this to me. I am not a fan of college sports. I am not a basketball fan. I am not a fan of shock or reality TV. So why did I feel compelled to look up a video of Kevin Ware's injury???? Yes, I did that. ON. PURPOSE.

And now I feel sick.

I had never heard of Kevin Ware before he made the news this week. If I had to hear of him I'm sure I'm not the only one who wishes it was under different circumstances. A completely freak accident that resulted in a shattered shin bone is not the legacy he wants to leave behind at his school or in the sport of basketball but there you go. I saw a picture of him up on crutches the day after the accident and his hours long surgery and I thought, "Good for him! I hope he's able to recover", but I never had the desire to see what was being referred to as a "horrific" and "gruesome" injury.

I've never been one of those people who hold up traffic rubbernecking at a roadside accident. Do I look? Honestly, yes. But I try not to gawk or slow down to see more details and I'm always offering up a prayer to all who were involved. I don't like to watch reality TV where people put all their garbage out there for all the world to pick at like vultures. I cringe every time my son watches America's Funniest Home Videos and they have a montage of people crashing into things--that's not funny, it's painful! I don't want to see photos or videos of people skewered by wayward javelins or being mauled by animals or laying their motorcycles flat on the freeway. It turns my stomach and I just feel horrible for the person whose injury was captured on film and then broadcast for everyone to enjoy.

Apparently I am one of those people.

MC and I were discussing the Kevin Ware incident last night with someone and for some reason it just stuck with me. This morning I found myself in front of the computer scrolling for news footage of the game. Not just articles, mind you, but actual video. My rational, easily queased out brain was screaming at me the whole time, "Don't do it! You'll regret it! This is sure to be something that will haunt you for the rest of your
life!", but my fingers hit the mute button and kept at it.

I did find a video and I did watch it. I can only say I'm grateful that the camera that captured the injury was far enough away that I couldn't see any details. What I saw was more than enough. My stomach is still rolling at what little was visible. No blood, no bone...just the image of a leg bending in half where there is no joint.

I can't image the pain he must have been in. I can only hope the trainers shot him up with something really strong, really fast. It happened right in front of his team's bench and they all crumbled. Everyone, even the other team members, hurt for him--some even breaking out in tears. The doctors stitched him back together with rods and pins, but you have to wonder what that will do for his career. Honestly, he should count himself lucky just to walk again.

But now I've seen it. And I wish I hadn't. And not just because I feel nauseated thinking about it but because I feel...dirty. I feel like...like I was looking up porn or something. Like I took something that should have been hidden away, something that was never meant to be captured on film, and used it for my own entertainment. I can't undo that image. Believe me, my stomach wishes I could.

All I can do is wish Kevin Ware a speedy and complete recovery. And hopefully, I will know better next time.

1 comment:

  1. Sheri, Even I wouldn't look at it! lol Have you been blinded??